I only bathe them once a month (if that), they eat weed, they have no pants, and tonight I was told to take them to the park or move out. I agreed to move out.

O: "I don't want to be an adult."
Me: "Why?"
O: "I don't want to pay taxes. I wish I was still a sperm."


Me: "Charlie and Olivia, come get in the tub."
O: "Ugh....why? We already took a bath in April."


If it wasn't for the comedy and cute factor, I don't think I could cope with motherhood. And, why must everything be pants-less? Thank goodness Sully tied his pink tie.