A New Daddy

It's been a long single-babies momma month. The children are delirious. That navy/black 10lb Tempurpedic pillow is now "Daddy," because it smells like "Daddy" (in a good way, I guess).  Olivia snuggles "Daddy" every night, they beat the crap outta "Daddy" in the morning, and Charlie drags "Daddy" to time-out, respectively. Thank goodness, "Daddy" is coming home tomorrow....if only for 16 HOURS...ONLY 16 HOURS! #pilotswife

I only bathe them once a month (if that), they eat weed, they have no pants, and tonight I was told to take them to the park or move out. I agreed to move out.

O: "I don't want to be an adult."
Me: "Why?"
O: "I don't want to pay taxes. I wish I was still a sperm."


Me: "Charlie and Olivia, come get in the tub."
O: "Ugh....why? We already took a bath in April."


If it wasn't for the comedy and cute factor, I don't think I could cope with motherhood. And, why must everything be pants-less? Thank goodness Sully tied his pink tie.

Weed eater

Olivia: "Mom, did you know my toast is made of weed?" 
Me: "Yes. We call it FUN toast... 
I think you meant to say wheat. Please don't tell school you eat weed."

Great wall of towels

Took a shower this morning and came out to this.... Charlie took all the towels out of the hallway closet and built me a "towel road" upon departure from the shower. Olivia slept through all the madness upside down on my bed. And at some point, Charlie removed all his clothes. Not sure, but I think he is praying to the towel gods in this photo.