A New Daddy

It's been a long single-babies momma month. The children are delirious. That navy/black 10lb Tempurpedic pillow is now "Daddy," because it smells like "Daddy" (in a good way, I guess).  Olivia snuggles "Daddy" every night, they beat the crap outta "Daddy" in the morning, and Charlie drags "Daddy" to time-out, respectively. Thank goodness, "Daddy" is coming home tomorrow....if only for 16 HOURS...ONLY 16 HOURS! #pilotswife

I only bathe them once a month (if that), they eat weed, they have no pants, and tonight I was told to take them to the park or move out. I agreed to move out.

O: "I don't want to be an adult."
Me: "Why?"
O: "I don't want to pay taxes. I wish I was still a sperm."


Me: "Charlie and Olivia, come get in the tub."
O: "Ugh....why? We already took a bath in April."


If it wasn't for the comedy and cute factor, I don't think I could cope with motherhood. And, why must everything be pants-less? Thank goodness Sully tied his pink tie.

Weed eater

Olivia: "Mom, did you know my toast is made of weed?" 
Me: "Yes. We call it FUN toast... 
I think you meant to say wheat. Please don't tell school you eat weed."

Great wall of towels

Took a shower this morning and came out to this.... Charlie took all the towels out of the hallway closet and built me a "towel road" upon departure from the shower. Olivia slept through all the madness upside down on my bed. And at some point, Charlie removed all his clothes. Not sure, but I think he is praying to the towel gods in this photo.

Mother's Day feeling the love. :)

Happy Mother's Day! This was the best pic I could get of my children this morning when they gave me the card that reads, "My therapist says it's (not) your fault." 

Pre-momma day

4/30/2014 Mark sent me this too cute Olivia quote this morning.

Olivia: Daddy, when is Mother's Day?
Me: It is Sunday, May 11th....that's just around the corner
Olivia: Well, can I go look around the corner? I want it to be here!

Donut Day

Help me. Trying to get dressed for school and we MUST coordinate the outfit for Donut Day. "Mommy, help me pick something out that is donutty! No! That will not work, that is NOT donutty!"

Cinco de Mayo! Arriba!

Roll his shirt up, roll his shirt down, roll his shirt up, roll his shirt down, rinse and repeat...is pretty much how Charlie's stage debut singing in Spanish went during his pre-k Cinco de Mayo performance.

Just when you think your kid could be Mensa material...