Baby Check In Aisle Mommy

I can't make this stuff up. Tonight, I was lying on the floor...wrestling with the kids. O starts ramming her head into my lower mid-section...

Me: What are you doing?
O: LET ME IN!!! I want to get back in.
Me: Get back in where?
O: Your belly!
Me: Why?!
O: To see the babies!
Me: There are no babies, my two babies are out!
O: Come on, Mom, pull down your pants! Let me in there!!! I just wanna check.
Me: Noooo!!!!
O: Fine, I will go through your butt.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Butt breath speaking Spanish

While flexing her gluteus maximus-rearus-bedonkadonk over and over, "Mom, did you know my butt can breathe?"

Goodness gracious, please NO ONE let her see Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Am I raising a female Jim Carrey?



Olivia: "Mom, it is a small world...and I WANNA BE BIG!"

And then I had to put the smack down when she yelled at me, "You don't understand me Mom, do you think I am speaking Spanish?!!!" This was all regarding the image she was drawing into the shower door steam while I was taking a shower. I am sorry that I didn't understand that it was a drawing of a person wearing a hoodie.


O: What movie did you rent?
M: This is 40
O: I like movies. Can I watch it, too?
M: No, this movie is for adults.
O: Why? Does it have guns? Do people die?
M: No, there is adult language.
O: Oh...like "stupid"?

Catching up with the Queen of the Waves.

O: "Mom, did you know they are people living in my brain? Some are cowboys and they get all the bad food I eat...like sugar and put it in jail. There is a princess in there, too. She just sits."


Olivia made the 2013 Season Inaugural Tube Ride. She is five years old. The water was a balmy 60.4 degrees. The girl has no fear on the water, this was just her warm up. The tricks got better and better as the sun set. I love her confidence. http://youtu.be/lY2di_u_JAc




O: "Mom, do firefighters have wives they sleep with when they stay overnight at the fire station? Like an extra partner to sleep with?"


O: Mom, how do you spell "pooched"?
Me: I don't know, what does that mean? Use it in a sentence.
O: You know, when you pooched your butt...when your pants and underwear suck into your butt.

Charlie now tags every greeting, statement, question, comment, phrase, joke, insult...with "Poopy...toot, toot, toot!" "Hi Mommy-Poopy toot toot toot!" It never gets old.

Olivia picked out a pink cotton candy colored little ditty with a rhinestone zipper for me to wear on Mother's day. She wanted me to be fancy for Grandma. The zipper was not all the way up and she yelled at me, "Mommy, come here. You are not going out of the house dressed like that! Let me zip this up, we don't want people to see your bra."

Olivia the Pirate - Show #2

Olivia the Circus Pirate!

So proud of my peanut. She is the leader of the pack!  Two more shows left!