Wednesday, May 28, 2014
A New Daddy
It's been a long single-babies momma month. The children are delirious. That navy/black 10lb Tempurpedic pillow is now "Daddy," because it smells like "Daddy" (in a good way, I guess). Olivia snuggles "Daddy" every night, they beat the crap outta "Daddy" in the morning, and Charlie drags "Daddy" to time-out, respectively. Thank goodness, "Daddy" is coming home tomorrow....if only for 16 HOURS...ONLY 16 HOURS! #pilotswife
Thursday, May 22, 2014
I only bathe them once a month (if that), they eat weed, they have no pants, and tonight I was told to take them to the park or move out. I agreed to move out.
O: "I don't want to be an adult."
Me: "Why?"
O: "I don't want to pay taxes. I wish I was still a sperm."
Me: "Charlie and Olivia, come get in the tub."
O: "Ugh....why? We already took a bath in April."
If it wasn't for the comedy and cute factor, I don't think I could cope with motherhood. And, why must everything be pants-less? Thank goodness Sully tied his pink tie.
Me: "Why?"
O: "I don't want to pay taxes. I wish I was still a sperm."
Me: "Charlie and Olivia, come get in the tub."
O: "Ugh....why? We already took a bath in April."
If it wasn't for the comedy and cute factor, I don't think I could cope with motherhood. And, why must everything be pants-less? Thank goodness Sully tied his pink tie.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Weed eater
Olivia: "Mom, did you know my toast is made of weed?"
Me: "Yes. We call it FUN toast...
I think you meant to say wheat. Please don't tell school you eat weed."
Me: "Yes. We call it FUN toast...
I think you meant to say wheat. Please don't tell school you eat weed."
Great wall of towels
Took a shower this morning and came out to this.... Charlie took all the towels out of the hallway closet and built me a "towel road" upon departure from the shower. Olivia slept through all the madness upside down on my bed. And at some point, Charlie removed all his clothes. Not sure, but I think he is praying to the towel gods in this photo.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Mother's Day feeling the love. :)
Happy Mother's Day! This was the best pic I could get of my children this morning when they gave me the card that reads, "My therapist says it's (not) your fault."
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Pre-momma day
4/30/2014 Mark sent me this too cute Olivia quote this morning.
Olivia: Daddy, when is Mother's Day?
Me: It is Sunday, May 11th....that's just around the corner
Olivia: Well, can I go look around the corner? I want it to be here!
Olivia: Daddy, when is Mother's Day?
Me: It is Sunday, May 11th....that's just around the corner
Olivia: Well, can I go look around the corner? I want it to be here!
Donut Day
Help me. Trying to get dressed for school and we MUST coordinate the outfit for Donut Day. "Mommy, help me pick something out that is donutty! No! That will not work, that is NOT donutty!"
Cinco de Mayo! Arriba!
Roll his shirt up, roll his shirt down, roll his shirt up, roll his shirt down, rinse and repeat...is pretty much how Charlie's stage debut singing in Spanish went during his pre-k Cinco de Mayo performance.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Quote catch up
Tonight we attempted to play the game of "Nobody touch Mommy or you lose." I live with a bunch of losers.
During the descent of the airplane into Minneapolis, "MOMMY!!! I LOST MY WORDS!!! Where are my words?! Da da da...see I can't find them. THEY ARE LOST!!!!!" said Charlie.
I thought homeboy was just being silly until I saw him at the baggage claim yawn, look surprised, and excitedly yell, "MOMMY!!!! My words are back!!!! I FOUND MY WORDS!!!"
AKA...his ears finally popped. So cute.
SOMETIMES...I snuggle my kid(s) until they fall asleep at night. OKAY ALL THE TIME. Usually, I put Olivia to bed and Mark puts Charlie to bed. Tonight when I put Charlie to bed, the dang kid booby trapped me. He seized me with both tiny muscle man arms around my neck - I MUST lay on HIS arm - and he wrapped his hands up in my hair. Fistfuls of hair like yarn on a spool! I moved and I set the trap, "Maahhhmmmmy, nooooooo, one more minute. You get me water and come back and sleep with me. Noooo....one more minute." I may be here all night folks...in the toddler bed. Help.
O: "Mommy, WHO is Miss-iss-ippi?"
Me: "You mean the river?"
O: "Well...okay...THEN why do people always say, 'One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi???'"
Poor kid was so confused.
During the descent of the airplane into Minneapolis, "MOMMY!!! I LOST MY WORDS!!! Where are my words?! Da da da...see I can't find them. THEY ARE LOST!!!!!" said Charlie.
I thought homeboy was just being silly until I saw him at the baggage claim yawn, look surprised, and excitedly yell, "MOMMY!!!! My words are back!!!! I FOUND MY WORDS!!!"
AKA...his ears finally popped. So cute.
SOMETIMES...I snuggle my kid(s) until they fall asleep at night. OKAY ALL THE TIME. Usually, I put Olivia to bed and Mark puts Charlie to bed. Tonight when I put Charlie to bed, the dang kid booby trapped me. He seized me with both tiny muscle man arms around my neck - I MUST lay on HIS arm - and he wrapped his hands up in my hair. Fistfuls of hair like yarn on a spool! I moved and I set the trap, "Maahhhmmmmy, nooooooo, one more minute. You get me water and come back and sleep with me. Noooo....one more minute." I may be here all night folks...in the toddler bed. Help.
O: "Mommy, WHO is Miss-iss-ippi?"
Me: "You mean the river?"
O: "Well...okay...THEN why do people always say, 'One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi???'"
Poor kid was so confused.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Nervey nerd
Olivia: "Get your butt up and work, mister!"
Mark: "That takes a lot of nerve coming from you two kids to tell me to get to work."
Olivia: "I AM A NERD!!!! NOW GET YOUR BUTT UP AND GET TO WORK! .....(laughter ensues).....SERIOUSLY, I'M SMART!!!"
Mark: "That takes a lot of nerve coming from you two kids to tell me to get to work."
Olivia: "I AM A NERD!!!! NOW GET YOUR BUTT UP AND GET TO WORK! .....(laughter ensues).....SERIOUSLY, I'M SMART!!!"
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
My little Romeo
Oh Char-LEE-O, oh Char-LEE-O me doth protest too much that thee cannot sleep in my bed. Yet I should cherish thee whose heart greets me with so sweet a kiss my son gives each dawn, crawls in to me bed, requests of me to li-eth on his arm, and proclaims, "Mommy, I love you and I will keep you safe."
Ay, Mark Sirrah, give me leave to allow-eth Char-LEE-O into thine bed for I am in love with Char-LEE-O.
Ay, Mark Sirrah, give me leave to allow-eth Char-LEE-O into thine bed for I am in love with Char-LEE-O.
Kid-isms...again.
Listening to the radio...awesome convo ensues...
O: "Mom, is Katy Perry...like...real?"
Me: "Ummm...yes. Why?"
O: "But...doesn't she have to go to sleep sometimes? She has to go to sleep."
Me (laughing on the inside): "Ohhhhh....she is not singing live every time she is on the radio. They RECORDED her singing."
Charlie: "Mommy, you want some can-cakes and crop-porn?"
Translation: pancakes and popcorn. Although, I prefer his version.
Olivia overheard a long-underwear discussion and entered the room. "Daddy, are those long underwear?"
Yes.
"Wow, you have LONNNGGGGGG underwear."
O: "Mom, is Katy Perry...like...real?"
Me: "Ummm...yes. Why?"
O: "But...doesn't she have to go to sleep sometimes? She has to go to sleep."
Me (laughing on the inside): "Ohhhhh....she is not singing live every time she is on the radio. They RECORDED her singing."
Charlie: "Mommy, you want some can-cakes and crop-porn?"
Translation: pancakes and popcorn. Although, I prefer his version.
Olivia overheard a long-underwear discussion and entered the room. "Daddy, are those long underwear?"
Yes.
"Wow, you have LONNNGGGGGG underwear."
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