Stanky

Email subject line from school today: Your kid cracks me up.

Email contents:
"I'm not even sure what Charlie did, but Olivia turns around to him and yells, 'Ew, Charlie stink in my face, well played Charlie... well played.'"

I have a feeling I know what Charlie did.

Walk of Shame

Tonight we were those people. We were the people with the kid who shut down the pool.


Betsy Steele Oh NOOOOOO... about all i can say. (That, and i couldn't help but laugh when i read this) You should have your own TV show.
14 hours ago · Unlike · 2

Anthony Brinda Mark!!! Come on now!!!
13 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 3

Pete Tidemann Omg. Hilarious. Was this a caddy shack moment?
13 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Becky Thompson Nowlin Pete yes. Pampers swim diaper fail.
13 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Sara Gillet Oh no!
13 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Jackie Lee Stone Well at least that's out of the system so that it doesn't happen in our pool!
13 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Tom Cannon What no pics?
3 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Jim Cunningham It's no big deal...it's just a Baby Ruth!
3 hours ago · Unlike · 1

Debbie Schultz Szumylo Oh no!!! Just had a flashback to one of my favorite movies...Sandlot

Frank the bus driver

On the way to school this morning, Mark refused to come out of character as "Frank the bus driver."  Olivia was soooo frustrated she closed her eyes, pointed at Mark, and yelled, "I KNOW YOU ARE MY DADDY BECAUSE YOU SLEEP WITH MY MOMMY!!!!!!"

And this happened...

O: Mommy, are my buhgina and butt attached? You know the line all the way across?
Me: Well, kind of...yes.
O: Are you sure? (Bends over) Look under there and check.

Turchicken

Charlie was practicing counting, made it to 10 and stopped. Mark asked what was after 10 and Charlie paused, "......Turkey?"
Mark then asked what comes after turkey, Charlie paused and said, "...chicken?"
"Yes, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 turkey chicken."

A birdie told me

Snuggling in bed nose-to-nose, "Mom, let's see what happens if we touch our tongues together."

"Noooo...."

In a quiet yet high pitched voice, "Baby bird is hungry."

Olivia: "Mommy, ratatouille does NOT sound delicious. It sounds like rats and patootie. Basically, rat butt." 

Me: I am going to need some good snuggles tonight.

O: I can do that. ... Mommy, I slept in your spot when you we're gone. I found your slipper, only one slipper and I snuggled it in my arms last night...all night.

From Mark: 

"She said to me: 'Daddy, when we stop by your work, do Charlie and I have to wear pilot suits?' I told her if she wants to she can. She promptly said 'no......you guys look silly.'

She will not be falling for a dude in uniform." 

Funny Girl

Someone...to go unnamed ...asked me yesterday if I embellish Olivia's questions, comments, jokes, etc. I DO NOT. As a matter of fact, she studies us. The other day Mark and I were laughing at something she said and she stopped us in our tracks and asked, "Mommy, what part of what I said are you laughing at? What was the funny part?"

The kid is studying the art of comedy and timing. She wants to know what is funny so she can use it again and again. And, she is doing a pretty darn good job. Insane.

Masterminds

Olivia taught Charlie how to pick the door lock this morning with a quarter while I was in the shower. Now, I caught the dude trying to smuggle coins into his bedroom.  When I stopped him, he fell to the floor screaming, "No!!!!! My key!!!!" We took the gates down and flipped the lock on his door so we could lock it from the hallway. The stinker was planning his next escape.

DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING! if I had a dime...

"She said to me: 'Daddy, when we stop by your work, do Charlie and I have to wear pilot suits?'

 I told her if she wants to she can. She promptly said, 'no......you guys look silly.'

She will not be falling for a dude in uniform."

Quick! Look like a happy family...